Plan A Dream Date With Your Spouse

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No, I am not a travel agent selling vacation packages – ha! This title makes it sound like it. I’m just passing on a fun idea for your marriage. Hope you like it as much as I did!

Over a year ago we went to a wonderful marriage conference led by mentors of ours, Pastor Mike and Pennie Shepard. By the time the conference was over, it certainly wasn’t hard to see why this couple has one of the best marriages we have ever seen. They do a lot of intentional living – doing certain things very purposefully to honor their marriage and family. The weekend was amazing and we came home having learned so much, but one of the very first things we did after returning was plan a dream date.

Pastor Mike and Pennie encouraged us couples to remember to dream and talk about our dreams with each other.

You know how in everyday life we can start feeling bogged down with work and with just doing the same things over and over? Well, this is why I perked up when they mentioned dreaming.

I realized that dreaming wasn’t something I was allowing myself to do. In fact, it wasn’t even on my radar, probably because it felt too frivolous compared to all the duties of life, but something inside my soul certainly jumped at the idea of dreaming again.

They suggested that each couple plan a dream date where they talk about and write down all the things they dream of doing some day. When Steve and I planned this date night, I thought we would be done in 30 minutes… max, but I’m glad to say that I was wrong. We talked non-stop for 2 hours and it was one of the best dates we have ever had. So much fun!

We decided to dream in every area we could think of and we wrote everything down! Here are the various categories of our dream list.

Our dreams in the area of:

1.) Giving/Helping Others: We purposely started with this category so we could begin by thinking of others before ourselves. In this category we listed our dreams of giving and helping people in general and also specific people that we want to bless some day.

I am very excited to report that God has provided for us a way to fulfill and check off two of our dreams listed under this category within the past year and one was something I have desired to do for someone for many years! All things are possible with God!

2.) Date Nights –Steve and Sandra: In this category we listed places we would like to go on date nights. We usually have two dates a month. One is at home and one is out.

We endeavor to do what was taught at the marriage conference: Instead of planning/scheduling our life and then trying to fit date nights into our life, we now plan our date nights and marriage getaways and then fit the rest of life around these priorities. This is a great way to honor your marriage.

It is extremely important to Steve and I to have a great relationship with each other and we know it makes our girls feel more secure. In fact, the best gift you can give your kids is a great marriage!

 3.) Date Nights – Family Dates, Father/Daughter and Mother/Daughter Dates: In this category we listed places we would like to take our girls on family dates and dates with each of them individually. When Steve takes one of them out, I take the other one out!

We usually do one of these a month – either a family date or individual dates, unless we are taking a vacation that month. If so, that counts. Just as we do with our marriage, we endeavor to plan these and then plan the rest of life around these.

It is very important to us to have excellent relationships with our girls!

4.) Vacations: In this category we listed places we dream of going to on vacation with our girls and also wrote down our dream for our 25th wedding anniversary trip which will be happening in just over 2 years!

I am happy to be able to say that we are going to see one of my personal lifelong dreams come true this year when we take our kids to Prince Edward Island, Canada (Anne of Green Gables); and on a 27 hour road trip which makes it a ton of fun. The McCollom’s love road trips! God is good.

It’s amazing how many things can happen in our lives if we use wisdom and if we are patient, but ultimately everything in our lives that is good comes by the grace of God (His unmerited favor). He is the One who helps us live in wisdom and operate in the fruit of patience!

In this case, we used wisdom over the years by not spending money we didn’t have and patiently we waited until the time when we would have enough money to do what I had dreamed of for so many years. Of course this wisdom and patience is only made possible by God’s grace so we give Him all the credit!

Update: As I am now re-reading through this post 2.5 years after originally publishing it, I would like to report that my husband and I did get to take a amazing 25th anniversary trip to Hawaii in October of 2016. Dreams really do come true so don’t stop dreaming!

5.) Ministry: In this category we wrote down various dreams we have in the area of ministry including being able to take our kids on a missions trip someday.

6.) Savings: In this category we listed our dreams in the area of savings, including college (if our girls choose to go) and weddings!

Don’t ever forget that dreams absolutely do come true! Now I encourage you to open up that calendar and plan a dream date with your spouse!

If you have not yet made Jesus your Savior and received the wonderful joy that His finished work on the cross has provided for you to live in, please visit my page here titled Jesus In The Driver’s Seat. On this page I explain the good news of the gospel and you will have the opportunity to pray a prayer of salvation, making Jesus your Savior! Jesus loves you and His arms are wide open!

Sandra McCollom

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